Poker Night at the Blank Space
by Pseudonom-DP
Summary: "So an attorney, a Stand user, a huntress, and a Gem warrior walk into a bar..."
1. The Ace

_"Do you like swing, Phoenix?"_

The attorney was barely coming to, and already questions were being barked at him. Something was wrong. Whatever he was lying on didn't resemble the discount texture of the couch back at Wright and Co.. Everything felt a bit comfier, smelled a bit nicer, sounded a little quieter; nothing like the constant business he was accustomed to. An attempt at mumbling out an answer to the question came out as an incoherent groan, rubbing his eyes and coming to a slow stand. He could see no one in his direct line of sight, taking note of the red-and-black checkerboard tile of the cramped room. Aside from a piano in the center, there wasn't much to observe, aside from a few cushy chairs here and there.

"Down here, Mister Attorney." Phoenix jolted, eyes darting to below him where he stumbled upon a demon-looking gent, with a broad, toothy grin stretched across his oblong face. The small thing was dressed in a black tuxedo and dress pants that looked twice as spiffy as Phoenix's usual get-up of a blue suit and tie. It was a walking oxymoron, composing himself in a tidy manner that betrayed his impish appearance. "Pleasure to meet you, truly." An outstretched red hand reached to Wright, who awkwardly reciprocated it and shook it for a moment, not particularly eager to make physical contact with the little demon.

"If you don't mind me asking..." He scratched his chin, unsure of which of his several questions to blurt out first. "...Where are we, right now?"

The little demon shrugged with his oversized hands, maintaining an aura of cool about him. "Would it make a difference if I told you?"

"O-Of course!" The desire to know is part of human nature, and Phoenix was no exception—actually sort of a sore thumb in that regard.

"Well, it's not within driving distance of Wright and Co., I'll tell you that."

Phoenix blinked, slowly becoming more concerned. "We'll see about that." He scanned around for the nearest door, spotting one just behind where he woke.

"Have a look for yourself." The demon challenged, which could only mean the worst. The attorney's hand twisted the knob, flinging it open to satisfy the fear within.

"You've gotta be kidding." Phoenix Wright, in his career, had witnessed and experienced just about everything. After being framed for murder, cross-examining a parrot, battling a loan shark, and receiving whip lashings in court, one would assume he'd be used to the strange and abnormal. But even the most jaded of men get unnerved when they open a regular old door only to see the vastness of deep, black space before them. He slammed the door shut, not wanting to be absorbed into the utter nothingness.

"Now you see my point." The imp closed his eyes and crossed his arms with the same ever-present smirk, looking quite pleased with himself.

After a drawn-out silence, the lawyer had all but a few words. "...Where's Maya?"

A guttural chuckle rumbled from the imp. "Your assistant? You're worrying about her? Look at you, Wright! We're not even on the same astral plane as Earth, or at least your Earth." Before Phoenix could interject, the demon rambled on. "I know, I know. This is the part where you say 'pinch me, I'm dreaming', but I assure you that this is one-hundred percent real. And to answer your next question, I don't _know_ how long it will take for you to leave. Probably within a few days, maybe a week."

"Hmm..." With all things considered, the tense feeling within Wright began to ease, little by little. Maybe a few days of solitude would do him some good. Hopefully, Edgeworth and Maya wouldn't grow too overworked over his disappearance. The demon said it himself—it couldn't be more than a week, could it? Besides, with the time given, he would eventually come up with a half-decent excuse once he got back.

The well-dressed imp pointed a finger in Phoenix's direction, grabbing his attention. "I'll ask again, Mister Wright. Do you like swing?"

"U-Um..."

"I'll presume that to be a yes. 'Wright' this way, please." He lead the way, walking along the checkered floor before coming to a stop at a crimson curtain. The demon opened the way, allowing Phoenix to enter first, doing so with only slight reluctance.

"A bar?" The joint was empty, save for the pink-haired bartender behind the counter, but just as the demon had promised, a static-laden swing record played in the background. It was catchy, but not quite enough to put him in a jovial mood, with nobody to enjoy it with. The demon guided him further, brushing past empty tables and booths until they hit the one lit spot in the entire bar: a poker table, with four chairs neatly circled. One was already pulled out for him, and the imp gestured for him to take a seat. Wright tugged at his collar, shaking his head with a faked smile.

"I-I'm not really a gambler, so I'll pass on this one."

For once, the gracious host stopped smiling. "What was that?"

Despite the demon's tiny stature, Phoenix almost immediately sat down, not wishing to incur his potential wrath. Just like that, his grin returned as if nothing had happened, swaying to the music happily. "Well then. The other guests should be arriving soon. Make yourself comfortable." He snapped with an offbeat rhythm, departing behind the curtains without another word.

"Wait!" By the time he objected, however, the demon was gone. Phoenix sighed, collapsing onto the table as he attempted to process all of the new information thrown at him. _Other guests...? You could at least give me a hint here..._ Though, as much as he liked the idea of getting to the bottom of his predicament, the dull tones of the phonograph convinced him to rest his heavy bones, and give into the swing, shutting off his brain to enjoy the experience.


	2. (Loyalty to) The Diamond

_"How do you relax, Jasper?_ "

Immediate aggression circulated within the Quartz soldier, clenching her fists in instinctual preparation for battle. Her head shot left and right, searching for the foe until she fixated on a life form barely tall enough to reach her knees. Jasper was just about to reduce the little imp to a pile of organs, before stopping to think.

"Lazuli-!" She gasped out, snapping around for any sign of the teal Gem in the small, red room she now inhabited. A strange, taunting dream, she thought. Just to humor herself, she moved around her joints, expecting chains to slam her down at the slightest twitch. Right arm. Left arm. Right leg. Left leg. Her eyes twitched, offended at just how far this joke was going. "What kind of delirious state have I hit?" She laid a palm on her head. She felt well. _Too_ well.

"At last, freedom! Perhaps it's best to unwind, after what you've been through." The creature she had barely spared from unabashed slaughter was already making an attempt to communicate with her, grinning broadly with a long finger pointed her way.

"What is this." Jasper inquired, staring down at the little thing with annoyance. His toothy grin froze, then began to falter as she advanced closer. In a swift reach, she nabbed the crimson creature, yanking him up to her eye-level. " _Do you speak?_ "

"Perhaps loosen a little?" The ogre's breath was strained, his bulging eyes focused on Jasper's clenched fist, roughly the size of his head. Her grip tightened, until he could take it no more. " _For Evans' sake! You're lightyears away from that miserable planet, calm down!_ " Having demonstrated some level of intelligence, Jasper released him, letting him drop to the floor and gasp for air.

"Freedom..." Jasper mumbled, feeling a primal joy surge out within her. " _Freedom!_ " She subconsciously summoned her helmet and bashed it against a wall, relishing in her newfound liberty from her painful existence as Malachite. The thought of getting revenge on the Earth vagabonds had hardly even crossed her mind at that point; after so many solar rotations, her priorities had devolved from _escape and exact vengeance on the Crystal Gems_ to merely _escape._ "Ergh. That wasn't professional." The adrenaline wore off, and she staggered. Jasper was tired. So, so tired.

"I'll ask again, Jasper. How do you relax?" He asked, donning another smile as if he hadn't been choked seconds ago.

"Relax?" A word not necessarily foreign to Jasper, but not a word she associated with herself. More along the lines of higher-class Gems, if anything.

"Oh, you don't know how? A shame." The false sympathy was blatantly obvious in his smirk. "There are ways, even to the unsophisticated." He began to pace around her legs, monologuing. From a compartment in his tuxedo, he revealed a box small enough to fit in his palm. "Cards." He said. Again, not entirely lost on Jasper. From what she'd heard, 'cards' were a common game among the upper crust of Homeworld society, and Jasper herself was privileged enough to have played a game or two in the barracks after someone snuck a deck in. Though, their version was hologram-based, unlike the flimsy slips the ogre had presented her with.

"You like competition, don't you, Jasper? Some mindless game and social exposure would do you well after your ordeal, right?" The ogre began to leave, swishing behind a curtain and out of Jasper's sight.

Jasper hesitated. It was a suggestion, not an order. She had no obligation to follow the diminutive thing that held no authority over her.

And yet she did anyway.

Past the curtains, she was led to a room much bigger than where she awoke. It was dimly-lit, and an incessant piece of music played on repeat just loud enough for her to hear. There were too many tables and chairs for such an unpopulated place. Two other life forms took up space in the room, both dominant-species earthlings, by the looks of it. One was framed in the shadows and tending to glasses, while the other sat in the open, fatigued enough to the point where his eyes were shut for longer than normal for Gem standards. What struck her most was his brown hair, oddly pointy and geometrical in the way it was styled.

"Is he dead?" Jasper asked, looking down to the ogre.

He shrugged, smiled, and walked away. "No, just human. Be sociable, Jasper!"

For a full minute, she stared at the spiky-haired human, before awkwardly settling down in a chair next to him. He seemed to notice her presence, mumbling something as he straightened his back out and opened his eyes. They met eyes briefly. "...Nice to meet you, I guess." He hardly flinched at the Gem's imposing figure, resting his chin on his palm wearily.

"...Human." Her eyes narrowed, making note of him.

He wasn't much to note, evidently.


	3. Dealt A Bad Hand

_"You're not too bright, are you, Okuyasu?"_

A phrase he's mumbled to himself many times, subconsciously or not. The delinquent's eyes blinked open, finding himself in a place that not even the bizarre suburbs of Morioh could compare to. A little shrimp of a thing stood at his feet, swaying awkwardly to no song as he locked eyes with a confused Okuyasu. "I'm out." He proclaimed bluntly, pivoting around to face a door, which he presumed to be the exit.

Upon swinging it open, he was met with a void of gaping space. The blue sphere that comprised Earth was a dot in the distance, so far that it took him a moment to even comprehend the scale. "H-Hey!" Okuyasu cupped his hands and yelled out into the nothingness. " _JOSUKE! KOICHI!_ You guys, look at this!" His voice didn't even echo, swallowed up by the seemingly infinite expanse of stars. He sat at the edge, dangling his legs into space. "I ain't smart, but... The fuck did I do to end up here?"

"See, you dunce? There's nowhere for you to return to." Okuyasu felt an unpleasant hand clench his shoulder, and he was quick to shrug it away as he stood, exhuming an aura of menace as he faced the taunting demon.

Okuyasu's calloused palms balled into fists while a ghoul manifested at his side, musclebound and tall, with glowing, headlight eyes and a right palm that glowed dangerously. A physical embodiment of his soul—his Stand. The way the demon's eyes darted—up at the ghost, then down at Okuyasu, implied that he was aware of the spiritual presence beside him. Then, Okuyasu moved, snatching the little imp off the ground and holding him up. "The way I'm thinking—you've gotta be a Stand user if you can see _The Hand_ , right? Ya got three seconds to explain what's happening, but take your time. I'm not bright." _The Hand's_ right palm was steadied, ready to erase anything in front of it in a single swipe.

"I-I can see your Stand, but I can assure you, I am no Stand user." The horned imp shrugged, trying to appear calm while under the threat of death. "We're in, ah, um, a very supernatural place, you see. W-Wouldn't it make sense if one could see your Stand with some...spiritual...magical...Losing the word here..."

Okuyasu let him be, nodding without question. "Well, when you put it like that, makes sense."

A bewildered stare crossed the demon's face, but within seconds, he returned to the air of affability he'd previous maintained. "...Yes, makes sense it does. Certainly. Right this way, Okuyasu." He turned his back on the delinquent, wiping the sweat off his brow.

Brusquely pushing past the red curtains of the red room, Okuyasu stood and bumbingly scanned his surroundings. "Oooh, nice place." He cooed, aweing about like a child in a candy store. His eyes dimmed at the sight of the bar, looking to the small host in search of an explanation. "Did you drag my ass here to get me drunk? Just 'cause I've cried once or twice don't mean I'm depressed or nothin'..."

The demon's head shook, smiling as if he knew something Okuyasu didn't. "Not the sharpest tool in the shed, evidently." He gestured to the only table with a light, where two unscrupulous-looking characters were sat. "Don't get red-hot in your temperament, Okuyasu. Rest assured, you're in good company."

"Whatever, thing of my nightmares." Rather than stay a minute longer in that annoying thing's presence, he strode away towards the table with his hands shoved in his pockets, projecting a tough image as he roughly pulled out a chair without a word. The wood creaked as he took his seat, making second-long eye contact at the two others there, lips pursed in what appeared to be contempt. The one on the left was a bona fide alien, her skin a bright-orange with a bizarre gemstone taking the place of her nose. She had the look of a warrior—unkempt white hair that nearly touched the floor, and a physique that far surpassed that of a human's. In great contrast, the man to her right looked a great deal more unassuming, the kind of guy who looked like he wanted to have a 'quiet life' in the way his eyes sagged. He was donned in a professional blue suit with a badge by his chest. Was he a cop? Nah; too scrawny. Although, if he wanted to, he could probably impale somebody on the back of his head using that dangerously slicked-back hair of his. The man seemed on the verge of jumping out of his chair and running at the stare-down, but the alien was unamused, returning the gesture to Okuyasu.

"I'm Okuyasu Nijimura, nice to meetcha!" He smiled, his body language shifting from deliberately intimidating to warm and open, getting strange looks from the both of them at the table.


End file.
